


Hollow

by Robron101



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Pain, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:17:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8169718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robron101/pseuds/Robron101
Summary: At the end of yesterday's episode - 09/29/2016
Cain and Moira talk and Moira is broken in ways a mother never should be.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I weep for Moira. She might be fictional but a mother should never have to lose their child.

_Holly. Holly. Holly._

Her name was on repeat in Moira’s head as she sat in the middle of the road leading away from the farm, Cain next to her, but she took no comfort in his presence. There was no comfort left for Moira. There wasn’t anything. Her first born, her baby girl, her sweet sweet daughter was gone. Dead. Moira shivered and stared at the gravel, tears all dried up, but still crying on the inside. Screaming. The rage was almost sickening, and it’s surrounded by this hollowness that Moira knows will never be filled. A part of her will always be ripped out, left raw and hollow by the loss of her daughter Holly. 

“We should get you inside,” Cain said and rested his hand on Moira’s shoulder. Once upon a time she could’ve taken comfort in the man she’d loved with every bit of her. But not now. “It’s cold out here.” Moira can’t feel the cold, because she is cold. Inside and out. Just like Holly is now. 

“She was okay,” Moira heard herself whisper. “She was doing good. Happy even… at least I thought she was. I thought she was clean. She was getting work, and loving it, and there was even talk of a bloke. I haven’t seen her that happy in ages. How could I not see?” 

“Maybe she didn’t want you to see,” Cain said calmly, his own emotional turmoil being kept locked away to be strong for the woman he loves. When Moira didn’t say anything, Cain continued. “Maybe she knew she’d put you through enough-” 

“Don’t you dare!” Moira growled. “Don’t you dare say anything bad about my daughter! You have no right!” 

“Moira,” Cain said softly in a tone he saves special for her and no one else. “I’m not saying anything against Holly-” 

“YOU DON’T GET TO SAY HER NAME! YOU CALLED HER A WORTHLESS JUNKIE! MAYBE SHE WAS BUT SHE’S MY DAUGHTER! MY EVERYTHING! MY LITTLE BABY,” her voice cracked on the last word and more tears spilled even though she felt cried out. Moira wrapped her arms around her torso as if that would hold her together, keep her from breaking into a million pieces. “I remember,” she began through her tears, voicing squeaking and breaking, “when they handed her to me in hospital after she was born. She was just-just this tiny thing. My first born, beautiful baby girl. I loved her, instantly, and I never stopped. When I was holding her, all I could think was how amazing it was going to be to get to see her grow up into a beautiful strong woman. I’d get to see how amazing her life turned out. Married and children of her own. She gets none of that now.” 

Cain wants to tell her that Holly brought it on herself. She made the choice to stick that needle in her arm and it was only a matter of time before she killed herself from it. But he can’t. He can’t watch the pain on her face, it’s bad enough seeing the raw, gut twisting, grief on her face. He doesn’t know how to make this right, doesn’t know if he can. He loves her so much that if he had a chance to bring Holly back he would. He reaches out to hold her and she jerks back from him. 

“Don’t. It’s too late for that. You can’t come back here when I’m suffering and expect to make it all better with a hug. You left me and I was doing fine. Me and her were doing fine. I don’t need you.” Cain knew it was the grief. He’s put her through so much pain but it can’t compare to the pain she’s feeling now. He can’t imagine losing Debbie or Kyle. But it’s impossible for him to not try and reach for Moira again. 

“I said don’t!” She snapped. “If you, somewhere in that warped brain of yours, cares for me in the slightest, you’ll leave me be and just go.” Cain wiped at his mouth and nodded his head but made no move to leave until Moira whispered out, “Please just go, Cain.” 

“Mum?” Moira looked up to see her son Adam standing there. Neither of them heard Adam approach and when Moira looked at her son, it was like another bit of her was ripped apart. The undisguised pain on his face almost mirrored her own and she reached out for him. Adam went to her and took hold of her hands, pulling her up off the ground, and wrapping an arm around her waist as if to lend Moira what little strength he had left. 

Cain stood as well and looked at the mother and son, barely put together. “I’m here if you need anything.” He promised. 

“I need my daughter,” Moira choked out. “I need Holly.” 

Cain didn’t leave until Moira and Adam were inside the house and out of view. As he turned around to leave, he reached up and wiped away a stray tear, wondering how he had it in him to cry for Holly.


End file.
